EDU Prosetry

 ”Love is not a relationship. Love is a state of being; it has nothing to do with anybody else. One is not in love, one is love. And of course when one is love, one is in love – but that is an outcome, a by-product, that is not the source. The source is that one is love. And who can be love? Certainly, if you are not aware of who you are, you cannot be love. You will be fear. Fear is just the opposite of love. Remember, hate is not the opposite of love, as people think. Hate is love standing upsidedown, it is not the opposite of love. The real opposite of love is fear. In love one expands, in fear one shrinks. In fear one becomes closed, in love one opens. In fear one doubts, in love one trusts. In fear one is left lonely. In love one disappears; hence there is no question of loneliness at all.” ~Osho

                On the first day back at McNair the students were required to attend an assembly in the school’s café. During this assembly the benchmark scores for each grade and PLC were announced. Public praise was given to those PLC groups and classes who held the highest average, read the most books, had the most students at school on a daily basis, best math test scores, etc. However, the scores of the other groups were also shown. When they declined the entire café was asked if this is the right direction, to which all shouted a loud and forceful “NO!”  The teachers were awarded leave early passes and exempt from turning in lesson plan passes for having the winning class.

                This entire assembly left me feeling ill. It creates a community of competition among students and teachers in which good grades become less about greater academic knowledge and more about public praise. What about the classes who have mostly special needs students who try their best but still are behind the rest… should this not be awarded? Or that student who makes all A’s and has to endure public humiliation because her class has the lowest average.

                I believe it is important to bring attention to good work and to show where improvement is needed. But to this type of sports like boasting and belittling I say who wins? Students become motivated by public praise and not intrinsic reward and teachers work to gain bragging rights not better minds. Really? Is this what our students need? I think not!

They say the world changed that day
But did it really?
Millions screamed in awe and agony
at the changing face of democracy
but still others in parts of the country
were denied the humanity
and the ability to fall in love
Marry
Grow old with
Raise a family
and die in the arms of the one
They called husband or wife just because
their marriage did not consist of both
They say the world changed that day….
Did it really?
Cause still across the sea
Families cry in broken lands
Full of pain and misery

Caused by men whose skin

Is the same

The world had changed yet

Unjust Wars are still being fought,

Air is turning sour and unfit for breathing,

Empty tummies fall asleep

Not on cotton sheets

But cold concrete that offer

Pillows for dreams of better days

The world has changed

But little old white ladies

Write jokes on paper napkins

Of Aunt Jemima holding a chicken wing

Replacing the Statue of Liberty

Because their democracy has been tainted

And little seven year old girls bleed infection

Because their mama’s can’t afford

The price of recovery

And

A boy is charged with the killing of his father

And the Congo cries out
Flooding leaves kill many and leave

thousands homeless in Brazil
Teen gets 4 life terms for racist murders in South Africa
Deadly bomb attacks hit Baghdad

In this changing world

The world is changing

Slowly and yet still so much remains the same

I.

I had this dream

An Idea of mine

Through the water, through the sea

A quicker way to get my queen money

Look, see, all around

Were Unknown trees and Unknown ground

Dark skin

Hair long and straight

Language not of men but of apes

I took a step and a breath

And claimed the soil beneath me

We took them all

NOT as a friend

but as gifts for King Ferdanand

They were no match for the fight

Although they fought with all of their might

We searched this place

Sought the treasures untold

Looked for jewels and gold

We brought them sickness, ailments, and sin

All because we were true Christians

We raped their women and butchered their men

Casualties of war they were for me

But money, success, and fortune for your future economy

Years later I will be praised by thee as

One of the mightiest men of history

But at that time in my life I did not find

the favor of the queen to be mine

II.

Strange People all Around

Out of the water out of the sea

Strange People…

Not at all like me

Their skin was pale

Their hair was white

They smelled of things not quite right

We had no gold

Save the corn

We had no treasure but land in which we were born

17 ships

And an army galore

Guns, swords, dogs tearing flesh from skin

Tears shed, cries for help

We summoned for the God’s within

SLowly, slowly as I looked around

Not a friendly face was to be found

The places I once rest and called my home

Are now graves tainted by blood soon to be forgotten and unknown

The memories of this despair and unrest

Will become fables and legends at best

Indians we have come to be

Not Taino, Blackfoot, or Cherokee

Our history forgotten by those who have sworn

Americans, The true Americans They claim to be born

OOOOOVVVVVVVEEEEERRRRRRWHHHEEEELLLLMMMMMMEEEEDDDDD

overwhelmed

but fantastic

WOW! This has been the longest three weeks of my academic life. I knew that the journey I was beginning would be a long one; however, I did not know it would be this intense. Before starting the program I had different ideas about what I thought a good teacher was, but I did not know that there was so much more to it.

I am, we are, PANGEA is just beginning our mission to become the nest possible teachers we can each individually be. We have just begun our journey to gain all the tools necessary to go out into the world and “make a difference one little person at a time.”

There are so many things to consider when teaching students, and now that I have been made aware some of these things I will forever be accountable for all my actions. To tell you the truth I am a little scared. I am afraid because I know that every reading, every paper, every action, every class, everything I do for this day forward will be working to shape me into a person who will have an impact on the lives of others and the world. I will be apart of the army of people working to make this place Earth into something more beautiful then all the sunsets combined. Knowing this scares me. There is power in being able to change a life. My fear is of changing a life for the worst instead of the better.

These three weeks have confirmed in me that I am finally in the exact place I am supposed to be. It is here that I believe I will begin to do the things the divine has designed me to do. I am ready to begin!

A great fear of mine, as I begin my quest to become a teacher, is that I will get a student who does not speak any English. I fear this because I am afraid that the language barrier will cause me to do a disservice to her or him. This fear was somewhat manifested today during our visit to Idlewood elementary school.

During our visit there we were given time to spend in teachers’ classes in order to observe them in action. Towards the end of the day, the entire cohort and a group of second graders met for a group conversation. However, before our large group discussion we were paired of individually with a second grader to have a one on one discussion.

The little boy I was paired with could not speak any English. His name is Kalbe and he is seven years old. He is from Ethiopia and just immigrated to the United States. His first language is Amari, a beautiful language that was also spoken by his classmate Tinsaye. Tinsaye was a second grader in the class that Kalbe will be in next year. He spent the last few weeks of school with her in order to get an idea of what it will be like as a second grader.

During our conversation, or attempted conversation, I struggled with trying to find ways to communicate with him. I did not want to exclude him from the exercise; however, it was hard trying to communicate with him through Tinsaye because she could not easily translate my English into Amari.

I found myself wondering about what I would do when I get a student who does not speak English. I want to be able to give all my students the best I can offer.

The purpose of education, as Gatto mentions in his article and what many educators believe, should be to make meaning or provide the information to people so that meaning could be made. However, often this is not the case. The process of education in America, more specifically the process of public education in America, is not set up to have children question the norms but more so as a promotion of them. Students are given few opportunities to really explore the topic they are learning inside the classroom because the time spent on activities is dictated by the “test standards”.

Producing well-rounded individuals seems to be the least of the concerns of educators within the public school system. Producing ATM machines that things can be put in and taken out when asked for is what the schools are creating. One way to assure the success of this endeavor is to censor anything that will challenge the norms or provoke free thinking. If materials were allowed into schools that caused students to wonder, examine, challenge, and even go against what the dominant culture and their beliefs deem to be acceptable, then schools would indeed become dangerous places that produce revolutionaries.

There is a man I know, quite well because I use to date him, who is an excellent poster child of how schools fail students. He grew up in Atlanta and is a product of the public school system. He is arguable one of the smartest people I know, and often I find myself thinking or telling him that he would be the perfect teacher. He knows the system and how it fails students. The system failed him. He did not graduate from high school.

When he took the SAT a few years ago, with only a ninth grade education, he received a score good enough to gain him acceptance into VERY good institutions of higher learning. However, by that time he had already been incarcerated for living the life of a hustler. I wonder had he completed high school what kind of life he could have today.

As we sit to have conversations about books he read, ideas and theories he has, news, or just the everyday struggles caused by living as a black man in poverty, I find myself wondering how the school failed him. I gave him a call after class to uncover some of these truths. He viewed school as “pointless and a waste of time because it was too easy.” He stated that he just lost interest in the material because it was too easy; he did not find it challenging so he stopped doing the work. As a result he got behind in his assignments. One day he had a talk with his school consular who told him he was too far behind and would never catch up so he should just go and get his GED.

How could someone say that to a child? How could he not demand anything but the best from every student? Why is it that neither the consolers nor any of his teachers stopped to look for the real reasons behind his attitudes toward school? How can I work to assure that this does not happen to any of the students I will teach?

When I was in the second grade I remember being placed in the group known as the Blue Birds. The Blue Birds group was the reading group comprised of the students who were a little behind in their reading. We read thinner books with words that all the students in the Red Bird group knew. I remember being embarrassed during reading time because all of my friends were part of the Red Bird group and I was not. It was at that point I begin to think that I was not as smart as my friends.

Throughout my grade 2-12 years, and still today, I judged my success in comparison to that Red Bird group. I was determined to not remain in the group with all the blue birds. My best friend, Nikki, was a member of the Red Bird group. She does not know this, in fact only recently did I become aware of it, but I have always tried to stay one step ahead of her because I did not want to fall back behind.

Tracking, for the most part is detrimental to students. Had I not developed the desire within myself to excel, I question if I would have become the first person in my family to obtain a college degree. I understand that there needs to be a time set aside to assist students who may be struggling to catch up, but I wonder how this can occur without sacrificing the self esteem of students along the way.